I couldn’t help but wonder, why do we treat our homes like pit stops instead of sanctuaries?

In relationships, we crave that can’t-wait-to-see-them energy. We text them on the way home, already imagining the conversations, the cuddles, the snacks. So why don’t we feel the same way about coming home to ourselves?

Maybe the truth is… most of us don’t actually want to spend time with ourselves. We’ve become the partner who’s “too busy,” who doomscrolls through the silence, who binge-watches Netflix just to avoid ourselves.

Because if you think about it… your relationship with yourself is a relationship. And much like in any relationship, too much screen time kills the vibe. You can’t exactly build intimacy when you’re both staring at your phones or binging shows, even if “both” just means you and your inner child sitting in the same room while you doomscroll.

So here’s the little self-love audit no one asked for: If you were dating yourself: how’s that relationship going?

Do you communicate honestly, or do you ghost your emotions until they show up uninvited at 2 a.m.?

Do you spend quality time with yourself, or do you just… watch Netflix in silence and actually avoid sitting with yourself?

Do you cook nice meals for yourself, or are you in a long-term situationship with takeout?

Do you surprise yourself with gifts just because, or wait for someone else to find you “worth” them?

Are you consistently loving yourself or do you flake on some days?

Do you take yourself out, or are you still waiting for company to start living your life?

Do you choose yourself every single day, know your worth and hold onto your boundaries, or are you neglecting your own heart?

Do you consciously take some time in your day-to-day to make yourself happy or are you being lazy in your commitment to yourself? 

If your answer to most of these is “ehhh,” congratulations: you’ve just discovered why you sometimes feel disconnected. You’ve been neglecting you.

And if you take a look back at your relationships with emotionally unavailable people, you’ll see every mirror they held up to your face. Every time you bent your boundaries, every moment you sold yourself short, every place you were starving for love you hadn’t yet given yourself. The key takeaway? It’s the same every time: choose yourself.

We spend so much time longing for people who make us feel safe, seen, and at peace, but the truth is, you can build that with yourself. Make your home somewhere you can’t wait to come back to. Make your own energy your favorite company.

Because at the end of the day, you’re the longest relationship you’ll ever have, and honestly, you’re a catch.

So light the candles. Put on that playlist. Cook yourself something sexy. And when you walk through your door at the end of the day, I hope you think, “ahh, finally, I’m home and I get to spend time with me.”